MARRIAGE AND THAT LITTLE BIT OF PAPER

Last month was my Wedding Anniversary and I have now been married for two years.

As a kid / teenager I never, like a lot of my friends did, had the idea of their perfect wedding their husband and the number of children and names picked out in their head. As I got older, the whole idea of being centre of attention in a dress also freaked me out along with the whole spend the rest of your life with someone. Who could put up with me for that long I couldn’t put up with me for that long!

 So when me and my husband met AGAIN and started dating, he was to be honest a surprise (read my earlier blog on how we met). When he told me he had been married before and didn’t think he would want to get married again, at the time I thought fine with me! Pressure off as I’d never really thought about it seriously before. We moved in together as you do, just without that “bit of paper”.

Don’t get me wrong if we had never got married I’d still be with him because I love him to bits and even though I always thought getting married was about a bit of paper, for me it’s not! It is so much more. A shrink would probably have a great time rummaging around in my head LOL.

I think I’m happier now than I’ve ever been and I can’t explain why, I don’t know if it’s because I’m more traditional than I thought. The only pain in the ass in being traditional is I wanted to take my husband’s name, which was important to me (even though I kept my maiden name at work). Having to tell everyone you’ve changed your name is a nightmare because the list seems endless just when you think you’ve told everyone, you find one more company that needs to be informed.

I did feel a little guilty about giving up my maiden name even though my husband said it was up to me what name I used, I just thought I’ve had the name 40 years! The teenage me, in my head was saying “Mrs Pankhurst and women like her went through hell so I could vote, and women have been fighting for equal rights should I shouldn’t I change my name - but at the end of the day they were fighting for my right to choose. So I did!

I have also found that people’s perceptions change, especially men. Although I come from long line of kick ass women I have learnt when to play the game. For example I have found pulling the “husband” card has more impact than when I used to pull the “partner / boyfriend” card not sure why. Like when I told my old boss “no my husband said you can have me at the over office for one week not two” he backed down.

Like everyone my husband has his faults as do I, but he is still perfect for me and that’s probably because he knows me so well and knows how to handle me. Because even though I try to hide it, hubs knows when I’m stressed, tired, feeling down or need to talk. He calls me if he gets time at work to check if I’m OK during the day because he knows I’ve been under a lot of stress. He supports me in everything I do, be it wanting to write or start a craft business. He knows when he has to sit me down and say ok are you are doing too much or my favourite you are letting this thing at work get to you why!

Whatever your views are on marriage I’m glad we waited and I’m glad we finally got married, I would say I have changed, not much but enough and I’m happier and more content than I was which sounds weird as I’m not even sure why? As I said earlier a shrink would have a field day with me J

New Year, New Ideas

I’m not one for new year resolutions because I’m crap. I’ve already messed up my study timetable because I’ve got side tracked with a craft project and wanting to write,  decorate our home…… the list is endless……

This month it is my second wedding anniversary and I have to say getting married was the best idea hubs ever had. But I’ll blog about that nearer the time. This year 3 of my sisters will be 40 and I will be 43 and I’ve been thinking we’re not getting any younger.

When I was younger I wanted to retire at 50, which will not happen in this life, (maybe the next one), so I got to thinking if the Government ever let me retire, would I want to?

I’ve had a craft project in my head for a while it’s my friend’s fault. I’m one of those people that mentally cannot switch off.  

This is where my friend’s idea came into play I like to cross stitch and make stuff so in between working, studying, writing notes for a story and being a lovely wife who burns her husband’s dinner (unless she calls for a take away), I’ve been working on designs and ideas to make and sell.

Who knows if the ideas will sell or make money let alone one day a living but I’m having fun torturing Hubs at HobbyCraft J and coming up with designs and ideas.

REVIEW OF POPPY DAY BY THE AMAZING AMANDA PROWSE

This story rocked my world I had a lump in my throat as I read it and sometimes a tear in my eye. To say I loved it does not do this story justice it rocked my world because the story relates to a current events and coming from the East End of London as you were reading it like any good story you, you go into it as it unfolds as though you are there watching it take place like a fly on the wall.

Amanda Prowse is an amazing woman I have got to know her a little through twitter I didn’t read the product description before I read the book which is why for this review I have put it at the end. 

I read the book mainly because Amanda wrote it and secondly because proceeds were going to a Charity close to my heart. Amanda is a fantastic writer her husband, family and the military should be proud of her and women like her who are the backbone of our military without them and their families our boys cannot go off and do their jobs.

This story made me wonder what my fiery little Grandmother did to the person unlucky enough to tell her my uncle had been taken a POW in Korea during his National Service.

Oh yeah if I was Major Prowse’s superiors I would be scared because if they ever lost her husband nothing would stop her from finding him but she would have a lot more support.

Now you can read the product description if you wish or just go buy the book from Amazon it is available in paperback and kindle format and you can buy it in Sainsbury’s.

 

Product Description

How far would you go to bring home the one you love?

This is the question posed in this contemporary love story that takes you from the streets of East London to the plains of Afghanistan.

Poppy Day is a twenty one year old hairdresser, devoted to her husband Martin and blessed with a sunny disposition. Martin is the one constant in her life, her protector and best friend since they were six, making an often difficult childhood easier to bear.

Martin and Poppy are an ‘ordinary’ couple who find themselves in an extraordinary situation. Having joined the British Army in search of a better life for them both, their world is ripped apart when Martin is taken hostage while on his first tour tour in Afghanistan.

Battling against army culture and procedure, Poppy decides to bring her ‘Mart’ home herself. Fuelled by naivety, she feels that nothing is impossible when doing it for the man she loves. Her journey sees her paying a very high price and incurs some heartbreaking consequences…

‘Poppy Day’ gives an insight into life beneath the uniform, a peek at what it’s like to be the one left at home, ticking off the days until your loved one returns and what happens when there is the knock on the door that every forces wife, husband, mother, father or lover dreads…

All proceeds from the sale of Poppy Day go directly to The Royal British Legion to help fund the charity’s Battle Back Centre for injured Service personnel.

Harry Moseley a true inspiration and a hero!

Harry is a wonderful little boy who was taken from us far too early in his short life on Saturday 8^th October 2011 at 11.10pm. He went out fighting we his twitter family like may others whose lives he touched just by being there will never forget him.

I’m not one for award shows like the Oscars TV Award shows, but I will watch real award shows honouring the work of real people, like The Pride of Britain, The Millies etc.

I first saw Harry on TV receiving his Children’s Champion Award from the “The Dragons” I thought what a fantastic little boy even though he is seriously ill, and knows it, he is kicking Cancer’s ass and raising money for Charity.

I joined twitter last year and a few months ago I was having a bad day and someone retweeted Harry’s @harry_moseley  #WowzerWedensday and it turned my day around and his tweets continued to turn my days around.

When I get stressed (or as I have been suffering a bout of depression) sometimes it just takes something for my brain to click back into “the normal me” mode. For me this was it “have a #WowzerWedensday”. This little boy has been an inspiration and when he was too sick to tweet his mum / family tweeted for him.

I cannot even begin to understand how it feels to lose a child. My sister will not even discuss a Will and who will look after my niece if anything were to happen to her and her husband so I know there are conversations in my niece’s life that Aunty C may have to have with her from how to put boy in wrist lock to the subject of dying. So I ordered several bracelets from Harry for me and my niece. For me as a daily reminder that work is just that, and also so that when I have to have that conversation with my niece on dying I can tell her about Harry.

Harry will always have a special place in his twitter family’s hearts, to me he was an inspirational little  boy, a hero, a fighter and a role model to the young and old.

Rest In Peace little man xxx

Exercise & Work

Letting go at work is working, and I didn’t think it would! I still slip back into what the hell when I get an email that makes no sense, but then I think breathe is it asking for opinions if it isn’t be a good girl stay out of trouble do not make waves and keep your mouth shut.

Taking lunch breaks is great as I never did this unless I was meeting up with friends, I just used to sit at my desk and eat my lunch while I worked. Now I’m sort of taking a break by using the time to study so I don’t have to do any at home of an evening.

As you know from earlier blogs I do pretty long days like most commuters. However I have decided to try and work in a bit of an exercise plan during my work day as I’m knackered when I get home and just want to relax. Gym membership in London is expensive and we do not have one close by. So I thought I would try the London cycle scheme rather than do the 45 minute walk to the office in the morning…..

Well what can I say it was an experience I will not be repeating. It was a bad idea, it turns out I do not have any sense of balance and I get that from mum. I can understand why no one steals the damn things it took me two attempts to lift the bike out of the bike holder thingy you lock it into. I managed to get on the bike and fell off and caught my ankle on the pavement, then the bike nearly fell on me it was so funny I was sitting on the pavement laughing and lady stopped and asked if I was OK. I think she thought I was a nutter until I explained whist still laughing.

Hubs was the best - when I called him and said I’m on my way to the underground. “Are you OK?” “Oh yeah but I’m running late, explained what happened and then told him I think I bruised my knee and twisted my ankle on the pavement.”

So now I’ve decided to walk and have to say it was boring as hell but if I keep pace with music on my IPOD it’s not so bad.

All of this is helping with the weight loss and pain management as I’m not feeling so stressed and I’m not getting as many headaches as I was which is brilliant.

Working, Exams and Professional Development

Hands up who thought when they left School, College or University that they would still be sitting exams be it 5, 15 or even 20+ years later? Not many hands up I bet!

As I mentioned in my last blog I commute to and from work. The one thing I wish I could do whilst travelling is study. I’ve tried it a few times, but if I read the book on the train I never feel as though I’ve taken any information in. I have a friend who travelled longer distances than I with work and practically sat all her exams on the train. I also have a friend who cross-stitches on the train but I can’t do that either.

Anyway…as part of my job I have to show that I maintain my knowledge in relation to the work I do and the industry I am in. This is done throughout the year via continuous professional development (CPD). I have to achieve a minimum of 100 credits which are obtained in a variety of ways ie, reading trade publications (for example 12 monthly subscriptions = 15 credits), reading technical guides and attending training seminars.

I also try to sit one exam a year (which counts as credits as well), this has worked out well as I now need to obtain a Diploma and because of the exams I’ve sat over the last few years, they count towards it and I now only have 2 papers to sit.  Each paper takes approximately 75-100 study hours to pass (according to the boffins at examining body).

One a year that can’t be too bad I hear you say? It’s not BUT it takes planning as the exams are usually studied for over a 3 to 6 month period. If you sat down and worked out what free time you really have for yourself after you’ve finished your day at work, you’ve finished with the kids and got them to bed, or cooked and washed up and got everything ready for the next day where would you find the time in your day to find a couple of hours to study? Especially if you are studying something that is similar to what you do day in day out rather than something completely different? I don’t know about anyone else but when I studying for a work exam which is all I have studied for apart from a few OU courses it me feel like I’m working instead of studying, if I study during the week after work. I also find as do friends when studying and working that you have to make time for the studying.

So as I only have 2 exams left to pass, I wanted to get them both done this year (instead of the usual one), firstly because there are other things I want to do now rather than study (until they bring out the next must have qualification) and secondly I’m 42 this year and it would be nice to have a break from studying and try something new that is different that I want to do like write. However as I need if possible to find 200 hours over the next 6 months I need to get cracking.

Like most people who work and study I always start with a study plan, this usually gets thrown out the window after week 2 as although I’m organised if work needs to be done that is a priority for me. I often work on a Sunday afternoon (yes I know I’m a workaholic I can’t help it I’m a control freak). I also have to take into account I also suffer from Chronic Pain in the form of headaches caused by variety of things which I’ll cover in a later blog. Good news is the pain is manageable the majority of the time but sometimes I need to sleep or relax rather than study/work.

So wish me luck I’m going to give it a go and see what happens, as I'll still be blogging and doing my book reviews as well J

The Life of a Commuter

Like many people I commute to work. I live in Essex and work in London. It takes about 1hour 45 minutes each way.

I have a 10 minute walk to and from the station which isn’t bad, a train journey that takes about 1 hour with pretty good views of the sea for 3 stops. Once in London I have either 40 minute walk to/from my office (the girls in my office could do it in 30 minutes but I have short legs and it is a really boring walk). I however usually get the underground which should take about 15 minutes including the walk to my office at the other end and stopping for coffee on the way (I need my Pret A Manger coffee or I’m a bitch). But no…… every morning we get held up at one station being told the train is running early even though some days we wait 10 minutes for the bloody thing to turn up. Considering I use the Circle Life which goes to all the tourist spots I think it’s one of the worst serviced lines we have.

Anyway…… I could work local but I would have to take a drop in pay of about a 1/3 of my current salary, which I can’t afford because I would still probably have to pay for parking, petrol, more in car insurance etc. Also for the work I do the jobs which are considered local by agencies can be up to 20 miles away, so it isn’t really worth my while at the moment especially as I like my job most of the time.

So I commute and even though it is a pain in the arse, costs me approximately £400pm, and come 9pm most nights because I’m up at 5.30am I’m usually falling asleep on the sofa watching TV (thank you Sky for Sky +), but call me a nutter I actually don’t mind commuting.

I find that I have to be as organised as possible (which isn’t always the case) I don’t usually get home until 6.45pm at the earliest, so dinners have to be easy to prepare and in my case diabetic friendly. While dinner is cooking I have a quick shower and prepare lunches for work the next day.

When I lived in London I would get the bus to and from work. I could get the bus outside my flat and it would drop me 5 minute from old office. It would take about an hour but it was cheaper and more convenient than the underground even though it took longer. I used to get the same bus every day (assuming it turned up) so I got to meet some great people (and some not so great people) and being a Publican’s daughter I will talk to anyone (except weirdos). We even used to have nights out after work and a Christmas Dinner.

My journey now is longer I usually walk to the station in the morning with my next door neighbour (but we usually get different trains unless I’m running late). I get on the same train carriage in the morning and at night so usually see the same people most days, as they do the same. Sometimes if I bump into people I talk to regularly we have a catch up chat but the time I spend commuting is my down time, I usually read a book, tweet, play my Nintendo or write a review (which can be interesting if it’s for my other blog and someone looks over my shoulderJ).

Although people tend to keep themselves to themselves, usually the journey into and out of London is quite pleasant and I’m lucky as I usually get a seat. The people I have got to know since doing my journey started as usual because the one time people will talk to each other is when they are annoyed with the wait, delays or cancellations of trains and you are left stranded in the middle of nowhere (being diabetic I now carry food with me for that reason always), the inconsiderate yob or passenger who is talking to loud or playing music in the quiet carriage OR maybe a smile or regular good morning/evening.

Although I try to avoid weirdo’s I’m not convinced that some people I talk didn’t think I was their weirdo after all let’s face it as kid we were all told not to talk to strangers LOL.